


Lemonade On The Rocks

by FoolsgoldFenrir



Series: Mad Jarate [1]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Anal Sex, Banter, Begging, Blow Jobs, Chastity Device, Dom/sub Undertones, Experienced Sniper, First Time, For Scout anyway, Hate Sex, Jarate, M/M, Masturbation, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rimming, Scout being a pest, Sniper's so done with Scout's shit, Speeding Bullet (Team Fortress 2), Switching, This was finished the day after Pride Month, Urophagia, Voyeurism, Watersports, Why the hell do you need jarate to craft mad milk?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:07:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoolsgoldFenrir/pseuds/FoolsgoldFenrir
Summary: After annoying the RED Sniper as per usual one morning, the RED Scout sneaks into his shack for one thing - jarate. He ends up getting more than he bargained for when he's caught by Sniper and splashed. In fact, they both end up getting more than they bargained for, after learning a couple things about each other.
Relationships: RED Scout/RED Sniper, Scout/Sniper (Team Fortress 2)
Series: Mad Jarate [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978612
Comments: 10
Kudos: 65





	Lemonade On The Rocks

**Author's Note:**

> What's this? A new fanfic by Foolsgold Fenrir that isn't about The Loud House? And a smutfic at that? What kind of warped reality world are we living in? One where I got super into Team Fortress 2 and its community. Well, the content it makes, that is. I have a couple friends that like TF2 too and in fact it was my longtime collaborator and pal that got me into TF2 in the first place. And I ended up taking a liking to some of the pairings because of course I did, one of which is Sniper/Scout, also known as Speeding Bullet. Which I will be calling it from now on because "Sniperscout" sounds stupid as fuck. And this is also the longest one-shot I've ever written, let alone on my own and not as a collaboration (previously the record went to Lincoln's chapter of Lisa's Funtime Machine! at 11k words) but now we're here at 12k!
> 
> Also I'm not the greatest at accents but I tried, it kinda switches around here and there but hopefully it's not too bad.
> 
> Sorry, uh, I don't like being a braggart but dammit I'm proud of myself for this piece of work. Anyway, yep, more gay shit, if you know me then you know full well that writing about the piss god Daddy Snipes means some watersports ahead (as listed in the tags) so tread carefully. Let me know how I did with writing for another fandom for once, I hope they didn't end up being OOC too much. I'm gonna shut up now, enjoy the story!

_Professionals have standards._

That was a phrase the RED Sniper loved to quote every so often, both to his teammates and to himself. He liked maintaining a reputation of being a calm and collected man, someone to be taken seriously. With a cold, interrogative stare behind his favorite yellow tinted shades, and a remarkable amount of patience and endurance, it wasn't hard. Although he had a gangly, thin appearance despite being an Aussie (well, technically he was from New Zealand, which explained a lot), he was stronger than he looked. He had to be, given that his shack was the BLU Spy's favorite place to hit up for an easy kill. More often than not, he made sure it wouldn't be easy, though, not one bit.

The marksman's elusiveness gave him an almost predatory aura. He even had the emphasized canine teeth to complete the look. He was the lone wolf in what was supposed to be a pack. A pack of deadly mercenaries that worked together to secure a victory for their team everyday except for the weekends. Even with bunkers having been offered to the mercenaries, he chose to live in his cozy van away from the others instead. He was polite whenever someone wanted to talk to him for whatever reason, but generally preferred to avoid conversation. Usually, the most he said these days were taunts he would shout to enemies he already shot dead. Or stabbed with his kukuri.

He liked the idea of not many people knowing much about him or his nature. It made Sniper feel like a crocodile or a death adder, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. He watched the battlefield from above, treating it like a playground as he took shots one by one. Of course, he knew nobody was more incognito than Spy, but it felt good being able to feel like he was comparable to such a nature.

And yet, no matter how much he repeated his motto, the demeanor he displayed was a means to hide his insecurities. He felt like a joke of a bloke, more often than not. Professionals have standards, he would whisper, as he would grab a jar of piss and throw it out the window, splashing whoever was below and making them shout various profanities while whipping their head back and forth to see who did it. Usually by then it was too late, as they were too distracted to notice the red dot on their forehead or the slashing of his kukuri, depending on how close they were to him. He could either fight clean or dirty, but fighting dirty made him feel dirty on the inside afterwards.

That being said, he wished the Director would stop trying to paint him as a victim of society. If anything, he more so saw himself as a victim of, well, himself. His stone-cold nature was a learned tactic to better his survival and sniping skills, but sometimes the boisterous side of him slipped out, and he hated when that happened. At least he could find solace in enjoying his job, even if it didn't make him very popular with anybody.

He often switched between supposedly not caring what light he was seen in and caring very much, but masked the side that did care. On the inside, he couldn't help but think of how the other mercs saw him, no matter how much he insisted otherwise. Ever since Saxton Hale sold him those pills, the ones that led to him mastering the art of jarate, he became more wary of conversations that even mentioned his name in passing. Or rather, his skill class since not only were they not to refer to themselves by their real names, they weren't to refer to others by theirs either. Now, he knew they didn't talk about him 24/7, such a notion would be utterly absurd. Still, although he acted jovial to their faces, he was sure they enjoyed snarking about his many imperfections behind his back.

Hell, he even got shit-talked to his face about things like being asked how a scrawny-ass thing like himself made it to the team. Or that he was more of a bonus stage to the enemy team and not of much credit. Not like the big boys that went directly into combat with a war cry. Tch, funny hearing that from the youngest member on the team that was often considered to be or the same category. Or, the observation he hated having mentioned thanks to the accusations that came with it, his use of jarate.

Then again, it was mostly just Scout and Spy giving him flack, the former having a hobby of annoying everyone for the sake of it and the latter reveling in wearing the title of a professional better. Or so he liked to act. Everyone else, he was more so paranoid about. Aside from regular banter, though that was to be expected from everyone towards everyone. Even then, he refused as much as he could to let anyone know it got a rise out of him. If he ignored them, especially Scout, usually they would decide he was no fun and leave. He did sometimes take the bait, unfortunately, and when he did it put a damper on his whole mood.

In fact, today was one of those days.

"Yo Snipes, how many people are ya gonna jarate today?" Scout asked, his eyes dancing with a mocking light as he grinned. Those buck teeth of his made him look like a rabbit. One that thought too highly of itself to know who not to mess with.

Sniper refused to acknowledge the boy as he resumed pouring himself a cup of coffee in the mess hall. He was going to need a lot of it if this was what today entailed, right off the bat.

"Or are ya gonna shoot 'em up wit deh stuff wit dat Sydney Sleeper o' yers instead? Is dat what you prefer, havin' yer piss _inside_ 'em instead?" Scout chuckled. "I dunno man, sounds kind of gay to me."

Sniper simply growled and took a sip of his coffee. It was still quite hot, but focusing on how much it stung his tongue was better than giving Scout any more ammo to work with.

Scout didn't like being ignored and huffed. "Or maybe… stab them up close from _behind_ afterwards? Is dat more yer style?" He laughed at his little innuendo and poked the older man in the ass with the tip of his bat, making him spill a little of the scalding coffee on his hands.

It took all his willpower to not drop the cup on the floor, and even more willpower to not spill it on the rascal's head instead. Who the hell did this kid think he was? Well, technically Scout was 23, but he sure as hell didn't act like it. Not only was this Scout the newest recruit, but he also seemed to think he was God's gift to the world and the team. At least he was entertaining when he acted more casually once the fighting was done, but even then it was rare to not hear a snide remark or an insult from him. Though at the same time, he could see why he acted in such a way.

According to the stories Scout told, he had seven older brothers and, being the runt of the litter, everything was a mad dash for him. No doubt the youngster had to compensate somehow, and Sniper supposed that the way he acted was exactly how he did so. He felt a little bad for him every now and then, but then Scout resumed clowning on him and he remembered exactly why he disliked him so much. Sniper wouldn't go so far as to believe he _hated_ him or anything, he didn't hate anyone on the team. After all, that would be unprofessional.

However, every snarky comment made his patience wear thinner and thinner. And he knew that if Scout didn't quit it, he was going to snap eventually. At least he wasn't the only one Scout liked to bully, otherwise he wasn't sure if he would still be able to take it.

The only thing he was thankful for at that moment was that he wasn't a lime cosmetic wearing Scout cunt. Or a "Scunt" as the rest of the RED team liked to call him. Those poor BLU's...

"Aw, don't go all pouty on me." Scout put on a face of mock sadness, jutting his bottom lip out in a frown. "Wit dat kinda attitude, yer gonna be even less of a help to da team. We've got a cart to push!" He slapped Sniper's back, making him spill even more coffee and let out a " _gaagh!"_ when it splashed his pants.

"Listen here, you little-" Sniper started, only to realize that reacting was exactly what Scout wanted. He cut himself off and just put the coffee down, trudging out of the mess hall and grumbling to himself. This wasn't worth it, and he had to save his energy for the battlefield. After all, an enemy Spy could come in at any moment and try to backstab him during that battle.

Sniper wasn't sure what got into him, but Scout wasn't usually this touchy, poking and prodding and slapping. _"Now what the bloody hell has gotten into him lately?"_ He wondered.

"Whatcha gettin' mad at me for, Snipes? Aren't ya used to havin' wet pants these days?" Scout called out, but his target was already gone by then.

* * *

_"This is a real piece of piss, ya bloody fruit shop owners."_ The RED Sniper whispered as he sat in his shack, his little crow's nest as he liked to affectionately call it.

He stood still as a statue as he looked through the scope of his Sydney Sleeper and looked for a target. His rifle was great and all, and he still used that one more often, but using this one was a whole lot more fun since he could combine it with jarate. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, Scout was right about one thing. He liked the idea of having his piss inside another man, one way or the other. Though when it was on the battlefield, it was more so a source of amusement to the bloke.

Soon enough, the red dot found itself focused on the enemy Sniper's forehead. He was peeking behind a boulder and crouching, but the blue color of his uniform made him stick out easily. Tsh, amatuer.

"You call that snipin'?" He snarked after making a fully charged jarate-assisted headshot. Seeing those yellow fireworks from the resulting jarate explosion never failed to make him feel better. Maybe not about his skills, but it was funny enough to improve his mood.

He heard a creaking noise, ears perking up at it. He turned around and saw nothing at first, but then saw the telltale shimmer of an invisible Spy. It sounded like it came from right near the outside of his shack. The RED Sniper quickly grabbed one of his full jars, leapt towards the entrance, and threw it. It shattered, spilling the liquid everywhere and decloaking the enemy Spy. Yep, he knew it.

"Is this… _mon dieu!"_ The BLU Spy grimaced as he held out his now soaked and dripping arms, slightly tinted yellow.

With a smirk, he pulled out his trusty kukuri. "Stabbin' time." He said.

The BLU Spy fled by moving to the side, and Sniper gave chase. In his adrenaline-fueled carelessness, he left the door of his shack wide open. He didn't notice a figure darting inside either.

It didn't take long before Sniper caught up. A couple slashes of the kukuri and a push down the long ladder that led to the shack, and he nabbed another kill. Being so used to just lounging around and taking headshots from above most of the time, however, the chase took quite a bit out of him. Sweat stained the pits of his shirt, while splashes and flecks of blood stained, well… the rest of him. While he wasn't nearly as uptight as the Spy was, he didn't appreciate having blood on his clothes either. He was thankful that he was part of the RED team and that his leather jacket was dark, so the blood wasn't completely noticeable. Still, one could clearly see it on his skin and pants.

 _"Ah well, I could just take a shower after the match. Unless the next respawn fixes it."_ He thought as he made his way back to the shack.

It was now that he realized he made the amatuer mistake of leaving his door open. Cautiously, he slowed his gait to a silent tiptoe. The kind he would use during his past profession of hunting dangerous game in the unforgivable Outback. If there was an enemy in there, and there likely was, this would be just like hunting wild game, only more dangerous and not for the sake of meat, bounty, or trophies. The sudden sound of footsteps creaking and glass clinking stopped him right in his tracks. His whole body froze, his heart skipped a beat or two, and his breath hitched. When he resumed pussyfooting towards the shack, his heart now beat at the pace of a rabbit's.

He could hear even more creaking, and before he even knew what was happening, a rush of adrenaline took over. As soon as he was close enough, he burst through the opening, grabbed one of his many jars of jarate, and threw it right at the silhouette. It was dark enough in the shack to obscure half of the intruder's body. The jar crashed into the wall right next to it, sending cold urine and shards of glass everywhere. The mess splashed onto the silhouette and it started darting around.

"I've had enough of these bloody spooks tryin' to have a nab at me! You're all a bunch of cowards, I'm gonna carve you a whole new cake hole-" Sniper rambled in rage, kukuri out and ready to stab again.

"Wait, wait, holy shit dude, I'm not a freakin' Spy, it's me!" The silhouette shouted in a frenzied panic.

With that, the Sniper's adrenaline dissipated. Instead, he was left standing there, dumbfounded. He lifted the blinds ever so slightly to allow more light to pass in. Right in front of him was most definitely not a Spy. It was a Scout. Not just any Scout either, but the RED Scout. The one that insisted on picking on the other mercs every chance he got, Sniper being one of his favorite targets.

"S-Scout? W-what on Earth-" Sniper stuttered, looking down at the smaller soaked Merc. He was holding something in his arms - one jarate. _"That must have been what caused the clinking sound."_ Sniper realized.

"Yeah, it's me! I'm not a Spy, so don't go stabbin' me, aight?! And what was the jarate for?!"

"You tell me. Why have you got one o' me jars in your hands, and what are you sneakin' around me shack for?"

"I- uhhh…" Scout trailed off, throat tightening and refusing to produce any more words. _"Shit shit shit shitshitshitshit oh god I'm so dead he wasn't supposed to see me he didn't the other times he's gonna make me the clown of the year and I wasn't even here that long-"_ His mind was in shambles, thoughts coming and going quicker than his already rapid-fire style of speaking. He hated how much his cheeks burned. And the worst part was that he wasn't sure whether it was from embarrassment or arousal. The latter which he desperately hoped Sniper couldn't see.

Which he did. Sniper caught it in the corner of his eye and focused his line of sight there. Even in the still somewhat dark shack, it would be impossible to miss the protruding tent in Scout's trousers. He gave a look of confusion, unable to look away. Slowly, his lips curled upwards into a crocodile-like grin. He couldn't stop himself from laughing at that point. It was a low, deep and sinister laugh that sent a shockwave through Scout, ever so vulnerable.

_"Heheheheheh…"_

"H-hey, w-what're ya laughin' at, Snipes?" Scout asked, shrinking back and grinning nervously.

Oh how satisfying it was to know he got the smug little rascal by the balls here. That self-absorbed, in-your-face attitude was nowhere to be seen now. Replacing it was utter terror, like a canary that got caught by the cat. And Sniper's sneer, like the cat that ate the canary, only hammered it in even more.

"What are you gonna do with that jarate?" Sniper finally asked after managing to get ahold of himself.

"I… I wanted tah see if it could really work. I mean, it works fer you, so maybe it can help me too. They won't know what hit 'em when I come speedin' towards 'em with one of these babies!" Scout tried, using the first excuse that popped in his head the second it did.

 _"Bullshit."_ Sniper whispered, cackling under his breath.

"No it isn't!" Scout shouted at him, having overheard him. "Go grope a nope rope, crocodile humper!"

 _"What the hell is a nope rope?"_ Sniper questioned in his mind. "Then why would you need my jarate if you already have somethin' that functions just like it, huh? Don't you have that _'mad milk'_ or whatever you call it?" The Australian put special emphasis on the phrase "mad milk" and enjoyed watching the other boy squirm. Yep, he had him right where he wanted him. This could easily become his time of reckoning if he wanted it to.

"Yeah, but…"

"Say, what is that mad milk anyway? I remember you describing it as a… white non-milk substance. Yet you call it milk."

"It's… it _is_ milk! I dunno whatcha talkin' about, but it's definitely milk!"

"A little birdie told me that the enemy Scout uses jarate to help create mad milk. Do you do the same?"

"Uhhhhh nope, no I do not! Listen man, I'm sorry I took yer stupid jarate. I'll just put it back if you wanna keep it so bad! I didn't think you'd miss one jar, you didn't the oth-" Scout cut himself off before he said too much, but he knew it was likely already too late.

"Wot was that now?" Sniper raised an eyebrow.

Scout thought that if the marksman grinned any wider, his face would split a seam. Truth be told, he was surprised it hadn't already. His entire body burned now from the heat of embarrassment, but especially his cheeks, and his crotch. Those pants of his were getting tighter by the moment, despite him telling himself he hated being caught in a situation like this. When the assassin leaned forward in preparation to ask something else, his breath left his body. He was almost certain his soul did too.

"The other ti-"

"Why do ya need so much anyway, huh? What's that all about? How much do ya even piss, do you really piss that much every single day?" Scout decided to avoid the question and try to move the cards in his own favor. Judging by how Sniper lost his grin and scowled at him instead, he supposed he succeeded. This gave him the incentive to make an incredibly risky move.

"Or, you know what I think? I think it says something about you. You don't _need_ to use the Sydney Sleeper and combine it with jarate to shoot piss into people." Scout put his hands on his hips and rolled them back in a sassy fashion. "And yet you still do. Are you hiding something, Snipes?"

"Stop calling me 'Snipes', you little gremlin." Sniper snarled, now the one with rosy cheeks. Dammit, he got him too. There was no way he would go down without a fight, not when such a golden opportunity (so to speak) slipped right into his grasp. "What about you? What does it say about you? Comin' up here like ya own tha place, stealin' mah jarate, and for wot? Are you gonna use it to help you make mad milk?" He accused, crossing his arms.

"First of all, everyone else on the team calls you 'Snipes' too, so you really can't blame me for that. And second of all, I dunno what you think that mad milk is but stop using it as a euphemism! Whatever yer thinkin', dat ain't it!"

"How does it even help you make mad milk?" Sniper ignored him once again. "Is it the smell? The way it feels? Dare I even say… the taste?" He leaned in close to Scout's ear to say the last bit loud and clear. Seeing the way Scout flinched brought the giggles right back in him.

"Stop laughing! A-and stop projecting your weird stuff too! Just because you have a thing for this stuff even though it's _nasty-"_

"I'm gonna stop ya right there." Sniper growled, placing a hand on the Scout's shoulder and squeezing tightly, far from a friendly squeeze. "If you think it's so nasty, then why're ya pitching a tent large enough for me to see all the way from here? Hasn't gone down since I first jarate'd you either. How do you explain that?"

Time stood still at that very moment. White noise filled Scout's ears, as blood turned his entire face bright red. His eyebrows arched down and his face twisted into a scowl. He glowered at the man in front of him, trying to look intimidating despite being shorter and scrawnier. It was pretty hard to pull off the latter, especially compared to the other mercs. Even their Medic had some buff.

Without another word, he unscrewed the lid of the jar he was still holding, tossed the lid away behind him, and sloshed all the contents right at Sniper. It soaked the whole front of him. He even managed to get his face and his mouth, judging by the coughing sound he made as he stumbled back and threw his arms up in defense.

Sniper soon got over the initial shock and shook his body and head like a wet dog. He kind of looked like one too as he turned to glare at the perpetrator of the salty assault. A low, rumbling growl emitted from his throat out of his unnaturally sharp bared teeth and turned into a roar of fury. He suddenly lunged forward, tackling Scout and pinning him to the wall where the jarate he threw before had hit. He pressed his whole body into him, hot breath hitting Scout right in the face.

Scout wrinkled his nose, but at the same time the hot breath turned him on even more. It stunk of lingering morning breath, coffee, and a faint trace of…

"I can smell piss on your breath, pal. You are _definitely_ hiding something. I knew there was an ulterior motive to taking up jarate!"

"Fine, you've got me! I happen to have a piss kink, are you happy now?! Is that wot yah wanna hear from me all this time?! It's not the only reason oi use jarate, it's bloody useful in combat too!" He reached a hand around the back of Scout's neck and gave him a warning squeeze. His nails dug in slightly as he pressed into the skin. "And if today's events are anything to go by, you've got one too."

As if to emphasize the statement, the bulge in Scout's pants throbbed, growing even larger. It was up against Sniper's crotch too, which also sported a bulge. One even larger than his own, he couldn't help but feel a little envious.

"...Fine. You've got me." Scout stared at the floor. Or well, he tried to, but the furthest he could get in his field of vision was right at Sniper's crotch, stretched out and proud. "I don't even know how long it's been festerin' there, but what I do know is that I only realized it when I first saw you throwing those jars around. When I first saw one of the enemies soaked and walking back in defeat after we won a round… think it was the BLU Medic…"

Now this was starting to get interesting. Sniper loosened his grip slightly. "Go on."

Scout gulped. "A-and I dunno, the whole situation… w-what I was seeing there, it was wild! I never would've thought that seeing something like that would then become a common occurrence. Sometimes we'd get hit wit deh stuff too from the BLU team. Sometimes I was the one that got hit."

"Yeah, oi remember how ye flailed an' screamed bloody murder, heh heh." Sniper chuckled at the Scout's frown, accent rolling in thick.

"Shut up." Scout rolled his eyes. "Truth be told, though, I didn't mind it when it happened. Had to act the part anyway, otherwise not just those guys but our guys woulda hopped on da 'let's make fun of the Scout' train."

"I would."

"See, you've proved my point. Even though it'd make you a bit of a hypocrite, but ya always were anyway. Throwing piss at people ain't polite. But anyway, ya got me on what mad milk is too. It takes a long time to fill up even a single bottle, I'm sure you'd imagine. But, one day I found one of your jars laying around near me, fresh one too. So, I took it."

"So that's why new ones disappear whenever I leave them unattended." Sniper mused amusedly. "Makes a lotta sense now, but I did always have an inkling of a suspicion about you."

"What? And why's that?"

"Jarate's always your favorite thing to bring up whenever you wanna try to mess with me. And yet here you are, just barely dry but still hard as a rock and I can still smell it on you. Now that's projection."

"Hey, don't you have people to shoot full of piss? The battle's still going on today." Scout attempted to change the subject.

"Oh, leaving so soon now, are you?" Sniper asked, leaning closer. "You came in here to steal moi jarate, decided to shit talk me some more, and now that I've got you admitting stuff, you aren't so keen to be here anymore? Oh, I don't think so."

"N-no, that's not what I meant. Actually, I kinda wanna stay here." Scout said.

Sniper tilted his head in confusion and finally got off of Scout, giving them both some space. "Wait, wot? Why? So you can mess with moi work?"

"What? Why would I wanna do that?" Scout took advantage of the new space to sit down on one of the crates in the shack and rest his weary legs.

"Well, you really like messing with me whenever you can."

"But dat's off the battlefield. Besides, you've already got me hot an' bothered here. Ya can't just rile up a guy an' then blueball him!" At this point, he was done trying to deny how erect he was.

"'Course oi can." Sniper replied casually, chuckling at Scout's frustrated expression.

His own erection was straining against his trousers, feeling more uncomfortably tight the harder he got. He wanted to make Scout pay for all the trouble he'd caused for everyone, not just the marksman. At the same time, it would hit him hard too if something wasn't done to take care of his not-so-little problem soon. Scout was right, though. He really ought to get his head back into the fight, lest he run the risk of his team ending up losing and having to endure Soldier lecturing everyone about how pathetic they were and calling them sissies and maggots.

"Seriously?! Freakin' unbelievable, you suck, you know that?" Scout complained, fiddling with his zipper and desperately wanting to pull it down.

"Hey, maybe oi don't have ta _completely_ blueball you." Sniper grinned upon seeing Scout perk up suddenly, buck teeth emphasized. He looked around his shack, digging through one of the open crates before pulling something out. It was a medium-sized metal and silicone chastity cage. The silicone part, the cage itself, was colored hot pink. Smirking, he put it in Scout's hands. "I'll just have to make you _earn_ your sweet release."

Scout eyed the object with confusion, turning it around and inspecting it close up. "The fuck is this thing?"

"A chastity cage. One o' moi toys when things get a lil' lonely for me and oi wanna push me limits. Don't worry, it's clean."

"Your limits?"

"Yeah. How long I can keep myself going before giving in an' taking it off. It's called 'edging', also known as orgasm delay or orgasm denial."

"So your other kink is not letting yourself cum? Why would ya wanna do dat?"

"Not just my 'other kink', Scout. There's a lot more about me that you don't know. Stuff that you're not _supposed_ to know about your coworkers. But yes. It can really make you appreciate what it feels like to cum after not doing so for a long time. Especially when you're being teased in the meantime."

"So… what, you want me to put this on you, or am I wearing this thing?"

"You're wearing it."

"But I wanna get off! And now you're gonna just fuck me while making sure I can't?"

"Do you ever think about anyone but yourself? It's always just 'me, me, me.' And for the record, I said I'd take it off of you _when you've earned it."_

"When will that be?"

"Dunno, mate. The better your skills an' the quicker ya do what I ask, the sooner the cage comes off. Understand?"

"So… I help you, and you help me? Tit for tat, right?"

"That's roight. Gonna have to bring that boner of yours down a little first to fit it, though. So…" Suddenly, Sniper took out his kukuri and let out a war cry, running towards Scout and pinning him to the wall again.

Scout jumped up in fear, eyes widened and pupils shrunk into pinpricks. He could feel the cold metal of the kukuri blade inches away from his throat. He made a strangled whine.

"W-what the fuck, man?! I thought we were gonna be on good terms, at least a little! And we're teammates, yer not allowed to kill yer teammates! Even if I'll respawn, ya can't do dat!"

"Aaand done! Perfect." Sniper said, moving the blade away and packing it away again.

"Wait, huh?" It was only then that Scout realized his pants had been unzipped, pulled down, and his cock had been fitted into the cage which was now locked. The cage looked smaller than when he first saw it. He let out a huge sigh of relief. "Jesus Christ, ya coulda at least warned me back there! Gave me the fright of my life, you did!"

"Well, I had to make sure the cage would fit, and like I said, I had to do something about that boner. And nothing brings a boner down faster than being thrown into an unexpected life-threatening situation. Unless that's your gig, but apparently it isn't."

"Jeez, this thing is really tight…"

"I had to adjust the size a bit, since it was last fitted for me." Though he didn't state it directly, they both knew exactly what he was implying, which only riled up Scout even more. "It's supposed to keep you from getting fully hard. That way, you don't cum until I decide you can when it comes off."

"Hey hey hey, it's _average,_ okay?!"

"It is, I'll give you that. And I never said it was a bad thing. Size isn't everything." Sniper was being genuinely sincere now. There was a time for insults, subtle or not, and there was a time for being polite. "Anyway, you're right. I really should get back to shooting people full o' piss. However, you're gonna help me out while I do so, alright?"

"Yeah, sure, whaddya want me to do?"

"Well…" Sniper mused. He honestly wasn't very sure. There wasn't a whole lot they could do within the confines of the small shack, especially not in the midst of a battle. But then, he got an idea. An idea that would show that bugger his place. "How about you clean me up a bit?"

"Huh? Whaddya mean by dat? Ya want me to suck yeh off?"

"That depends on how well you do first. Oi've been sweatin' in me trousers all day, y'know."

Turning around to face the window, he dug his fingers into the waistband. He pulled both them and his briefs down, but only low enough to expose his ass, and the underside of his taint and balls while he leaned forward. He reached for his Sydney Sleeper, but decided to just go back to his trusty ol' sniper rifle instead. Rifle in hand, he was ready to get back to work while waiting expectantly for Scout to start his own.

"My pants always end up clinging to me and by the time the battle's over I'm sweating up a storm. And you wanna know where all that sweat collects?"

"Wait, ya want me to eat ya out?! Dude, that's gross!" Scout exclaimed, backing up and shielding himself.

"So's takin' me piss jars and doin' whatever it is you do wit 'em so you can get off into a bottle, and then throw it at the other team." Sniper pointed out. "And I've definitely seen you take a swig from those bottles on a couple occasions. Out in public on the battlefield, no less!"

"Wh-" Scout blushed madly, his entire face and even his ears redder than the skies of Hell. Sure felt hot as hell too, as he found his shirt to somehow feel even more constricting than the chastity cage. "Well it ain't mah favorite taste, but the idea of getting away with something as risky as that is just hot, aight?"

"Doesn't change the fact that you drink cum from a bottle. That's pretty gross, don'tcha think? And if you really are worried about it being unsanitary, oi don't think you have much to worry about. I showered yesterday and hadn't gone since then. Unless that's what you're-"

"Oh no you don't, don't ya dare finish that freakin' sentence. Gawd no, I still have standards! Go ask Medic about that or something! But, if it'll get me outta this stupid thing quicker, I'll eat you out."

He was about to ask why Scout mentioned Medic specifically, but decided against it. "That's the spirit. Now get to work, you've got a lot to do 'fore I let you move on." Sniper went back to looking through the scope, observing the scene ahead of him and looking for a target. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from letting out a moan upon feeling the sudden wet contact behind him.

Scout was kneeling below, on his hands and knees. They were planted firmly on the sturdy wooden planks that made up the floor. After dragging his tongue along Sniper's crack once, he reached his hands up to grip the cheeks and spread them out. They slid a little thanks to the sweat. Now with more room to really get into the treat (or rather, he told himself, a means to finish up quicker so he could get out of this stupid device), he took several more long laps along. He tried to hurry himself up, but for some reason his body refused.

"Come on now, we haven't got all day. I thought you liked to say you were the fastest in the world."

That did it for him, and Scout cut it out. Spurred by the notion of his abilities being doubted, he dove right in and planted his lips right on his target. He grinned when he heard a light gasp and went further, frequently alternating between sucking and licking. The sweat invaded his senses. The smell hung thickly as his nose laid against Sniper's tailbone. The taste clung to his tongue, its saltiness reminding him of jarate which he was still ashamed of having to admit his fondness for. Said salt also stung his eyes, and yet he pushed forward. Literally so, with his tongue inside now.

Sniper had been trying to focus the scope on the BLU Heavy, confident that he wouldn't miss the shot. The sudden feeling of his bowels being invaded made him accidentally jerk the scope to the side, pulling the trigger and only hitting the ground next to his target. He gasped again, face flushed as he let out a small moan.

"Hah, ya like dat, huh?" Scout teased, pulling his face away for a moment to talk. It was also for a moment to breathe, he realized, unaware that he had been holding his breath the whole time.

"Even though you made me miss moi shot… yes. You're doing very well for someone that doesn't have any experience."

"Hey, but technically-"

"Jerking it to my jars doesn't count." Sniper replied bluntly.

"I wasn't gonna say that…" Scout lied, face burning with a rosy blush from both his dirty little secret being stated so casually and this whole ordeal.

"Yes you were."

Scout didn't reply, instead he went back to licking and sucking. His trapped cock throbbed inside the cage, twitching every now and then. He whined, fingers digging into the sweaty flesh as he tried to get in even deeper so he could be done already. Done with being in the cage, that is. The Bostonian wouldn't admit it, but if the cage wasn't there, he thought he could stay there forever. Even with the wooden planks hurting his knees. He reached a shaky hand towards the other man's length, only for it to be slapped away.

"Nah mate, oi wanna save that for that mouth of yours." He said with more confidence than he was actually feeling. What if the two of them got caught? He wasn't sure what he or Scout would be able to say without things taking a turn for the worse. His rock hard and now leaking erection cared not for such worries, however. "Speakin' of which, stop whatcha doin' would ya?"

Scout moved his face away, but remained in the same position. Tongue lolling out, he panted heavily while a single strand of spit remained connected between ass and tongue. His heart raced, his face flushed, and the twitching was getting more frequent. He stood up, chest heaving with a hand to it.

"P-please… just fuck me already and get me outta this thing!" He rasped, other hand clutching uselessly at the cage.

Sniper chuckled at how quickly the hooligan went from acting like he was on top of the world to outright begging for pleasure. Not just pleasure, but specifically for Sniper to provide it. He really did have him by the balls here. _"Maybe today ain't so bad after all."_ He thought. "Now now, aren't you forgetting what I said?"

"C'mon, pal. Pally. Pally pal pal. I ain't got no experience with this whole 'edging' thing, I dunno how you can deal with it!"

"It takes patience. Patience is a virtue, a way of life. Sometimes you have to slow down to realize just how good something can be. And then you can do what it takes to work for it. I said you were gonna have to work for your reward, didn't I?"

"I know, I know. It's just, this thing is real tight and I dunno how much more I can handle!"

"Well then let's find out, shall we?" Sniper gave him a half-lidded lustful stare and a toothy grin. "You reached for me anyway, might as well."

 _"Can't argue with that."_ Scout thought. "So we're still doing the whole 'cleaning' shtick?" He asked, moving in front of Sniper and kneeling down again.

He winced, this time not from the floorboards hurting his knees but rather from the arousal that tormented him. A pang of excitement hit him now that he could fully see what the Aussie was packing. Not only that, but he could feel the heat radiating off it too, and the thick scent of masculine funk hung in the air. A drop of precum dripped from the leaking head, landing squarely on his forehead.

"You have _got_ to be kidding…" He uttered breathlessly, starry-eyed and biting his lip at the sight in front of him. This was his first time seeing a dick that wasn't his, up close, right in his face. And no, the magazines he "borrowed" from Miss Pauling (dubbed "Playwo-mann" but were more like Playmann in his eyes) and saved for really lonely nights didn't count.

"Heheheh… batter up." Sniper chuckled.

Scout snapped out of his trance for a moment just to roll his eyes. "That pun sucked." He chastised, then went back to staring twinkly-eyed at the prize.

"Whatevah. Are you gonna get on with it or do you wanna be a pissant and stay stuck in that thing forever?"

"Yeh yeh, don't rush me pal! I'm just… tryna get used to it, aight?"

"Heh, this really is your first time ever, huh?"

"Ye- _no!_ I know all the sex things, all of 'em! I'm a total pro at this!"

"Come on now, no need to lie to me. Now let's have a go at it, yeah?"

Scout grumbled but complied. He tried to mask his nervousness by going all in, attempting to take the entire length down his throat in one go. All that resulted in was him gagging and pulling away just as quickly, going into a coughing fit.

"Whoa there, mate! This ain't no bloody race, some things are better when you take 'em slowly." Sniper scolded, pulling away as well. "Why don't you just try to get the feel of it first?"

"How?"

"Errrm… oi dunno, just uh… start at the tip an' work your way up." Sniper scratched the back of his head. "You're not gonna be able to take the whole thing all at once. And throw some licking and teasing in there too, maybe even put those hands of yours to good use for where ya can't reach. You moight 'ave an annoyin' mouth but oi don't wanna break it, y'know?"

"Have ya done this stuff before?"

"Mhm. A couple times 'fore I started working here, on both ends. The first time oi tried moi hand, or rather moi mouth at this, it wasn't nearly moi best. Trust me, you get much better with experi-"

Scout interrupted Sniper's lecture by giving a cursory lick from the base up before latching onto the head of his dick, pursing his lips around it. His companion inhaled sharply and shuddered a little, caught off-guard by the action. He swirled his tongue around it, digging into the slit ever so slightly before flicking it back up. He wasn't sure if he was doing this whole cocksucking thing correctly, but by the little hums he heard and the lack of complaints it seemed like he was.

Just as he was about to dare to go further, he felt a tap on his head. He looked up and gave a little "huh?" while releasing the member.

"Just remember not to use any teeth. Or I'll make a necklace out of 'em. Bushman's rules." Sniper growled, voice dripping with both venom and lust. He may have considered himself to be polite, and saw no reason in being rude for the sake of it. He was still a temperamental individual and just because his annoying teammate finished eating out his ass and was in the process of blowing him didn't mean he liked him very much. Even though he disliked him a little less in this state.

"Oh! Yeah, that I know! I dunno if ya like getting bitten anywhere else, but I still have a working brain!"

"Somehow I sorta doubt that, but okay."

"Ey, screw you!"

"I will, if I decide you deserve it. You can go on." Sniper adjusted the way he held his scope, now holding it more steadily and actively searching for more headshot opportunities. _"And maybe I'll let the little bugger bugger me too later."_ He mused internally. _"After I bugger him first, of course."_

Scout mumbled a quiet " _you suck"_ under his breath, despite being the one sucking in this situation. He resumed doing exactly that, daring to go a little further than just the tip. Those bandaged hands of his flew up to grip the Aussie's thighs and pull him closer to reach more, as well as to steady himself more. He had to open his mouth wide to keep his teeth as far away from the organ as possible. He'd really appreciate them _not_ dangling around Sniper's neck like the crocodile teeth necklace he was wearing.

"C-croikey… yeah, just loik dat…" Sniper sighed in bliss. In his distracted mode, he was missing headshots more often than usually. His hands were shaking as they held the rifle. It took everything in him to not lose his grip and drop it.

In what was both an attempt to appease his temporary master and his own desire taking control, Scout moved even further along the shaft. Closing his eyes and relaxing his body, he moved slowly and took in as much of the throbbing, veiny length as he could. A moan escaped his throat as he breathed through his nose. This sweet yet salty and meaty taste wasn't the kind he would've expected. At the same time, though, what kind of taste would he have expected in the first place?

That he wasn't sure of, but what he was sure of was that his cage was getting tighter and tighter by the second. The cock inside it pointlessly dribbled a couple beads of precum, dripping down his thigh. Transfixed on his thoughts, he unintentionally moved a hand down to his own shaft and gave it a squeeze. Upon feeling the disappointment that he couldn't jack it at the same time, he moved the hand back where it was before.

For someone that always ran his mouth, it felt much better for Sniper than he would have expected. That throat of his felt incredibly soft and silky all the way down. Never would he have guessed that this hyperactive ruffian virgin would be this good at sucking dick. Then again, maybe he should have, given how anybody with at least one eye intact could see that the RED Scout was clearly not completely straight. No matter how much Scout insisted he was whenever the accusation was thrown at him.

He accidentally looked down and caught a glimpse of Scout now looking up at him, one hand now gripping the cock he was sucking and jerking where he couldn't reach with his mouth. He hadn't seen it before, but now he looked absolutely gorgeous. The way those brown eyes twinkled. The small trail of tears that rolled down from them and over his full and reddened cheeks from how much they had to handle. The smooth shape of his jaw and cheekbones, emphasized by the current act. The short, light brown and messy hair that was no longer hidden by the hat that now lay on the floor alongside the headset. The way his nose twitched adorably whenever Scout took him in particularly deep.

Everything.

"Holy dooley…" Sniper groaned, knowing sweet release would be on the horizon for him.

He couldn't help himself. Now holding the rifle in one hand and holding it closer inside, he reached the other hand and gripped Scout's head by his hair. It felt rough and bristly in his grip, and was slightly wet with sweat and the piss from when he jarate'd him earlier. With the new leverage working to his advantage, he pulled Scout's head, hand flying away from the base and back to the man's thigh. He could hear gagging sounds as the runner's throat was being battered by the intense force being put on it. There was no attempt to pull away being made, if anything it was all taken in stride.

The shack practically shook with all the different sounds that filled it. Sniper was starting to show his more wild side, baring his teeth as he growled, panted, grunted, and huffed. He was also now thrusting his hips in rhythm while still keeping his grip on Scout's head. Meanwhile, Scout did nothing to stop the moans, squeaks, and even girly-sounding mewls that escaped his throat.

And that's when it hit him. Sniper bucked his hips a final time before practically slamming his weight into the thrust, knocking Scout's back on the wall and tilting his head, pinning him there. The helmet of his dick throbbed and pulsed as spurt after spurt of hot cum filled the Bostinian's throat. The sensation made Scout's throat tighten even more, which only served to intensify the already electrifying orgasm. Right at the same time, there just so happened to have been that enemy Scout jumping around.

" _That Scunt won't know what hit him."_ Sniper thought and took the headshot, landing it and interrupting the lime BLU Scout right in the middle of a taunt. The parallels between what was going inside his safe haven and outside of it were not lost on him.

"I'm runnin' circles around y- _aaaaugh!_ " The lime Scout was oh so rudely interrupted by the bang and fell to the ground, crumpling. When he respawned, he was salty as ever.

While Sniper was busy blasting rope down his own Scout's throat, he heard the obscenely loud swallowing noises from below. While looking down, he noticed there was some semen trickling out of his nose while his cheeks were puffy and he seemed to be going a little blue in the face. He was slightly worried, but he couldn't help but laugh a little at the sight.

"Heh, that's a good look fer yah." He snickered once he was done. "Whew, oi really needed that…"

Scout took the time to savor the flavor. It was familiar, yet different. While he had tasted his own cum before, it had tasted a little sweeter than this. Probably thanks to all the extremely sugary Bonk! he drank on a regular basis. Sniper's was more bitter and strong, fitting his more roguish persona. And yet, he decided that he liked this taste more.

"Mmh…" He moaned as he swallowed the last of the cream down. He could feel the cock softening between his reddened and bruised lips. He attempted to pull away, assuming the act was over, only for his hair to be grabbed again as he was kept in place.

"Hold on a second, mate. I ain't done just yet. Don't think oi've forgotten wot brought you here in the first place."

"Mmph?"

"That's roight, and not like the cold stuff in the jars. Unless ya heat 'em up with a bottle warmer like I do, but I doubt it."

Just as Scout had pieced together what Sniper was talking about, a stream of piss fresh from the source started gushing forth. The salty taste was nothing new, as he had taken sips from the jars he burgled sometimes when it was late at night and everyone else was supposedly asleep. The warmth and freshness made it much better than anything from the jars, though, and so he greedily gulped it down as it filled his mouth. The swallowing sounds were even louder and more obscene than before. Some of the urine leaked from the sides and dribbled down his chin, joining in with the drying drool. A couple stray drops dripped on his shirt, but he paid it no mind.

Sniper sighed in relief, smiling at the relaxed, almost intoxicated expression on Scout's face. He took a glance at the window outside the shack and noticed that the lime Scout was back. By the looks of it, he was running towards the shack to take care of the one that dared to get a kill on him.

" _Not today, Scunt. Not today."_

Sniper dropped the rifle to the ground and made a quick grab for the Sydney Sleeper. Right as the enemy Scout did a double jump in perfect view of the scope, he pulled the trigger. Once again he managed the headshot, made even more powerful now that it was assisted with jarate. Judging by the placement of the jarate fireworks, it would seem as though he managed to land the shot right in his enemy's mouth too.

" _Either God loves me or lady luck's by my side."_ Normally he detested the idea of luck, preferring to consider skill level instead. Still, he highly doubted he would be able to achieve such a perfect feat again anytime soon, if at all. Maybe the circumstances were helping him too, placing his mind in a certain place as he multitasked.

It was a full minute before Sniper finally pulled away, the action making a suction cup noise as the cock was popped out of Scout's mouth. Those Mann Co. Saxton Hale issued jarate pills really were something. Scout looked up at Sniper expectantly, but didn't say anything. The question on his mind was plain to see in his eyes.

"I know what you're thinking, I can see it in the look on your face." Sniper said. "And you know what? I say you've earned it. Just stand up and I'll take that thing offa you."

Scout obeyed, stumbling as he was somewhat weak in the knees after the ordeal. _"That's not gonna be good for a runner like me."_ He thought while leaning against the wall, hiding away from the window. A puff of breath got caught in his throat and trembled there when he felt the cage and his dick inside it get grasped by one of Sniper's rough gloved hands. The already burning arousal seared from the touch. That breath slipped out and became a moan just as the cage was unlocked and slipped off as well. It was then thrown into one of the open crates haphazardly.

"So, now that I've had a taste of your Sydney Sleeper, you gonna let me work mine?" Scout asked playfully.

It was sort of funny in Sniper's opinion, how quickly Scout's outward personality seemed to change depending on how much power he was allowed to have. It was almost as though he were a different person when the cage was on. Though that was probably just him playing nicely to get to the reward. And he had to admit, he was impressed enough to feel that he somewhat deserved having his power back. Point was, it worked.

But then Scout ended up saying something stupid enough for Sniper to physically feel a couple braincells dying. He groaned and facepalmed. "Did you seriously just call my dick a 'Sydney Sleeper'? Like my gun?"

"Sure did." Scout beamed at him, sunshine radiating off his face while his now free rod stood proudly.

"Don't call it a Sydney Sleeper. That'll make it feel dirty whenever I pick up that gun." Sniper attempted to sound mad, but he couldn't hide the smirk tugging at his lips or the soft, raspy giggles.

"Well I'm gonna call it whatever I wanna call it and you can't stop me." Scout stuck his tongue out mockingly, happy to know he managed to make the other man smile with his little joke. Even though there was a failed attempt to hide it.

"Nyaargh… fine. I have an idea though. You have any empty milk bottles with you?"

"Yeah I do. Why?"

Sniper was handed an empty glass bottle, short at the top but thickening out below the neck. It was longer than the mason jars Sniper pissed in but also skinnier. "Remember when I said that the cage's purpose was for edging?"

"Yeh, dat it keeps people from cummin' and that's how ya get yer kicks."

"Yep, an' people do that so it'll be more intense when they finally actually orgasm. And, as a result, ye get more cum from a single orgasm than you normally would." There was a mischievous glint in Sniper's eyes, visible even through his tinted hunter's glasses. "Let's see how much of this bottle will get filled from one time, shall we?" He challenged, knowing how fond of competition Scout was.

"You're totally on!" Scout replied with gusto. "But wait. So you're gonna be poundin' me?"

"Ye know what buggery is?"

"Doin' it in the butt?" In truth, Scout hadn't heard of the word before. He was just good with context clues.

"Right on the money, you are. Whaddya say I take a lil' break from hunting and we give it a _shot?"_ Sniper winked with the last word, unable to resist having a little fun with wordplay himself. "And if you manage to fill the bottle up at least halfway, I'll let you flip the roles and bugger me after."

Scout's eyes twinkled at the thought, grinning all the while. He looked down at how hard he was and felt confident in his abilities in winning the proposed challenge. "It's a deal. Hope your ass has got enough room for me when it's my turn. I don't think it'll be a problem, I mean even if we weren't doing this together it'd be obvious you're used to taking it from behind."

"Look who's talking, though oi wouldn't say you're used to this. More like you're the kind of guy to fantasize about it everyday." The snark was thrown right back into his face. The look on Scout's face showed he was right. Sniper dug through another crate and pulled out a bottle of KY Jelly. He returned after coating his member with a generous amount, prepping it again for his newest mission. "Today's your lucky day, mate."

"Well, not _everyday!"_ Scout retorted with a _hmph_ and crossed his arms.

"Sure, whatever ye say." Sniper murmured. "Just get on your hands and knees, and stay low."

He put another glob on his finger and the bottle away. Unknown to Scout, he also took one of the full jars from the pile. He lumbered over like an awkward bear, trying not to let any of the lube drip off as this was going to be a very, _very_ rough ride. The jar was set on the ground next to them but away from anywhere they could potentially knock it over. After spreading Scout's cheeks apart and carefully working the glob of lube into his rosy, untouched pucker, he got himself into a mounted position. Just a little bit of guidance, and he slid in smooth as butter.

Despite how smoothly he was entered, Scout still cried out. Not out of pain, as when done right anal isn't supposed to hurt, but out of pleasure. Sheer, unadulterated pleasure. He had been ecstatic just to have the cage taken off, but this was outright euphoric! He threw his head back and let a long, drawn-out sigh escape his lungs as the pounding started. He was handed the empty glass bottle used for containing mad milk, which he then placed on the floor near the gap between his legs.

In his dizziness from the sudden pleasure, he barely had any time to react when a gloved hand was wrapped around his member. The rough material of the glove probably wouldn't have felt this great if he wasn't so desperate to get off. Combined with the comparatively smoother but still rough skin of Sniper's fingers as the hand jerked Scout off, however, could've easily ranked as one of the best things he ever felt. That and the unfamiliar touch, so different from his own, excited him regardless.

"Haaah~! H-harder, Snipes!" Scout choked out, not even aware how short and labored his breathing was.

Sniper previously wouldn't have thought it would ever be possible for him to forget about the ongoing battle, but in that moment, that's exactly what happened. His mind was foggy from a combination of tiredness, hormones, and lust. As he placed a free hand on Scout's shoulder while jacking him off with the other, his next words left his mouth without having even entered his brain first.

"Ye like that, roo?"

Scout took a moment to crane his head and try to see Sniper's face. He couldn't see it well from his position and it hurt his neck and shoulders. Still, he smirked at that little slip of the tongue.

"Did you just call me 'roo'?"

"Wot? No oi didn't!"

"Yeah, you did. So, if you can call me roo, then can I call ya Snipes?"

"I- _gaaaagh…_ fine. Oi suppose it's only fair."

"Cool! Anyway, _Snipes,_ keep going."

Sniper hadn't the foggiest as to where that slip-up had come from. He hadn't called Scout that nickname before. It just felt natural in a way. He was never one for pet names, and he especially didn't give them to people that annoyed him on a regular basis. It was kind of cute, though, and it fit someone as scrawny yet bouncy and surprisingly strong as Scout.

Plus, it wasn't like he hadn't said weird shit during sex before. Highlights included _"I'm gonna didgeridoo you in the arse"_ and _"Bloody 'ell mate, this really was a golden opportunity!"_ Those were some fun times.

* * *

Outside on the battlefield, the RED spy was cloaked and tiptoeing towards a lone BLU Medic. Butterfly knife in hand and raised, he snuck up closer and closer until he was right behind the unaware enemy doctor. He was about to plunge it into his back only for an odd movement to catch his eye. It was where his team's Sniper's shack was, and while it was dark enough for nobody to be obviously visible from it, he could tell there was not just one person, but two people in there. Given the way they were positioned, and the way one of the RED mercenaries thrust back and forth with one hand on another RED mercenary's shoulder and the other hand hidden away, it could only mean one thing. One thing that Spy was rather familiar with.

"SURPRISE- ...buttsex?" His declaration announcing his presence earlier was cut off, followed by a confused and unprofessional utterance of the first word to pop into his mind after witnessing such a sight.

While he was distracted, the BLU Medic had unfortunately used the time to take out his bonesaw and plunge it right into the RED Spy's back, effectively turning the tables. He let out an anguished yowl as the BLU Medic grinned sinisterly at him.

He let out a long evil laugh in an example of schadenfreude and put his bloodied bonesaw away. He equipped his healer gun again and stalked away, making note to watch out for RED Spies more in the future. And buttsex apparently, the thought of which made him blush ever so slightly.

When the RED Spy respawned at the base again, he had several questions on his mind. As he left the base and got back onto the battlefield, he glanced back at the shack. He intended to get answers to those questions, and quickly. Finding a safe spot away from the fray, he cloaked himself and made his way towards it.

* * *

It didn't take long before Scout was hitting the wall. His orgasm hit him like a strike of lightning as the first spurts of it made it inside the bottle. Just as that was going on, cold liquid was being poured on his head and face. Judging by the smell and taste he was intimately familiar with, he figured Sniper had taken one of his jars when Scout wasn't looking and was now pouring it on him. Not that he minded, in fact it just made the waves of pleasure roll even harder. He groaned out surprisingly deeply as he continued to fill up the bottle. Vision going blurry and the rest of his senses blurring together, he closed his eyes and held his breath. All he was aware of was euphoria, stronger than he'd ever felt before.

"Aah! Ooh… oh gawd… _oh holy absolute shiet…"_ He whined breathlessly, shaking like he had just finished an entire can of Bonk! soda.

Each sticky thread that left him felt like tightly packed stress parting away and lightened the weight off his shoulders, bit by bit. By the time he was done, the bottle was beyond half full. In fact, he had made it to the three-quarters mark and that was just considering how much made it into the bottle. There were a couple strands here and there either stuck to the sides of the bottle or on the floor collecting in a puddle near the bottom of it.

Sniper released him and slid out, despite having not been finished himself. His erection twitched a couple times, as if it were mad at him for pulling out early. Taking a deep breath, he stumbled back and leaned against the wall, running a hand over his hot and sweaty face.

"Holy dooley…" He said again. "Your tu-" Before he could even finish his sentence, he got jumped and was tackled to the ground. Before he even realized it, he was already down with his back on the floor, limbs spread eagle. Scout was hovering above him, a toothy and impish grin stretched along his blushing face.

"Hah, about time!" Scout said, getting down on his knees. He lifted Sniper's legs and hooked them over his shoulders before lining himself up with the entrance. Having already lathered himself up with the lube, he worked some into Sniper as well.

"Oi knew you were fast, but how'd ye recover so quickly?"

"I've always been the kinda guy to bounce back, ya know? Part of my job."

"Mmm, yeah oi s'ppose that makes sense. Anyway, I promised so let's see what you've got, roo."

Scout chuckled at the nickname. "Ya got, it, Snipes!" With that, he guided himself and thrusted forward, earning a yelp that drifted off into a rumbling hum from the assassin as he pushed himself deeper.

It sure is amazing what even a little bit of edging can do to someone. Never had anyone rocked Sniper's world quite like this bugger did, and he'd had bigger. Even more proof to go along with his belief in that the motion of the ocean was way more important. He didn't even think about reaching over to palm himself, instead more focused on how fast and deep that penetration was. He let out a throaty _"uungh"_ every time Scout hit his prostate just right.

"Nngh… God save the queen… and me."

"You said 'queen' twice."

"For fucks sake, Scout. Just keep going, and shut your mouth if you aren't gonna put any good use to it."

"Aight, jeez princess. What lodged itself up your ass today?" Scout then looked down to see exactly what the answer to his question was. "Oh yeah." He continued his onslaught on Sniper's ass, rough and reckless yet working just right. Just like his fighting style on the battlefield. _"Ah man, this is amazing! It's like beating someone up, but with my dick!"_ He thought giddily, increasing his pace and somehow managing to go even deeper.

Lost in the zone, Scout stood up while still holding onto Sniper's legs. He ended up picking him up and dragging him slightly across the floor. Sniper was only touching the floor with his head and hands now. His glasses slipped off his face and on the floor next to him. The most he could do was let out an annoyed "Oi!" upon being lifted up.

Although he was strong, the strain that was put on his strength and endurance was taking its toll. All of a sudden a second orgasm hit him, turning his already quick pace even more erratic and sloppy. Slippery too, getting filled to the brim only adding to how hot and slick it felt inside. It was a miracle he didn't drop Sniper despite his dwindling strength and loss of control.

Sniper had also reached a second climax, spilling his seed all over his clothed chest. He would have grumbled out of frustration had he not been busy making pitiful sounds that were like a cross between squeals and grunts. Like if a mouse had sucked helium and then gargled gravel. There went his standards. Especially when another warm feeling washed over him like a blanket and a very recognizable smell reached his nostrils.

"D-did you j-just-" He sputtered.

"Yep, guess all that Bonk! got to me. So, who's the pissant now, huh?" Scout tee-hee'd and slid out. He placed Sniper back on the floor and went to get his pants and underwear back on. "Hey, if ya get to shoot piss into people then so do I." He shrugged as he got dressed again.

"I mean… I'll admit, it felt good." Sniper stood up on wobbly legs, straightening his back with his hands to his ass. He had to clench hard in an effort to not let anything seep out until he managed to adjust to the pressure. And the dull pain that just started to seep in after that rodeo. He put his own clothes back on as well and went back to his position, holding his regular rifle near the window.

"Yeah, this whole thing felt good, I gotta say. Heh, never woulda thought this'd be how today would go."

"Neither did I. Truth be told, I'm kinda glad ye stopped by to steal my jarate."

"Me too, Snipes. Me too." Scout gave him a tired smile.

"Listen here now. Just because we had a fun time this one time doesn't mean we're buddies. So I'd keep the 'Snipes' thing to a minimum if oi were you."

"There's the angry old man I know again, heh."

Sniper turned around completely and put his rifle down. "I'm not old, I'm only 28. Still, you can't just come barging in whenever ye feel loik it. Especially during a battle, it's a good thing our team has been doing well today."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I still rocked your world."

Just then, an arrow flew through the window and struck Sniper right in the asscheek. "G'aaagh!" He yelled out in both pain and fury. "I've had it wit that BLU Snoipah!"

"Kick his ass. I'm gonna go back and kick some ass myself. See ya!" Scout bounded away and climbed down the ladder to do just that, waving until he was out of view of Sniper.

"I think I really needed that…" Sniper mused into the empty air. _"Now what I need is to give that other guy a gobful. And to get my standards back."_ He looked at the stain on his shirt in distaste. With a sigh, he picked up his rifle again and started preparing a headshot.

Meanwhile, the RED Spy had been huddled and cloaked behind the pile of jars. He knew that had any of them fallen it would be his undoing, but what's a reward without a little bit of risk? Even if he was caught he was on the same team, and teamkilling wasn't allowed. He just wanted to take a break and watch the show for a bit, which he got. Even though it got gross at times. That filthy bushman wasn't his favorite person by far, and he certainly wasn't keen on having him around Scout, who was a surprise to have on the team in the first place.

He stared at his ungloved semen-coated hand, the cloak failing to hide the hand. Luckily he was still hidden away enough for that to not matter much. Not wanting to ruin his expensive suit, he wiped it with a handkerchief instead and put the glove back on. As Sniper stayed scoped in, now focused on the battle rather than anything else, Spy took the opportunity to sneak back out as quietly as possible. It was a close call, and he wasn't sure how he'd be able to explain himself had he been caught, but all in all it was worth it.

* * *

It was late at night. Everyone had finished dinner and their little drinking party to celebrate winning today's battle. Everyone was back at their quarters while Sniper was back at his camper van, watching TV without a shirt and waiting to feel tired enough to go to bed. There really wasn't much to do around Teufort when there wasn't blood to spill. Basically, everything was the way it usually was.

Until Sniper heard a knock on his van's door, that is. Lifting himself off the couch with a little huff, he sauntered towards the door and pulled it open. To say the least, he was surprised to see the little varmint's face again so soon.

"Hey there, _Snipes~"_ Scout purred.


End file.
